And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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