so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
