Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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