Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
