I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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