you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
