My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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