OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
