you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
