you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
