You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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