It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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