Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
