my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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