What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
