i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
