Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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