my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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