whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
