Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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