Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You ruined the universe
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
