new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
