dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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