I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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