who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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