You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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