therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
