I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
