Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
