Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
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