my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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