And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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