this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
