They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
