omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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