i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
