Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
