Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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