pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
