what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
