i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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