You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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