dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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