I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
