...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
