So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
