Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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