I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
