My room smells like vodka and shame
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
