4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
