I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Pi๑atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
