Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
