try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
