Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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