We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
