ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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