Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize