He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
