Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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