You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
