Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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