True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
