i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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