I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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