Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
