Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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