Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize