I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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