her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
